Taylor Swift saw another boyfriend’s shadow, which means another 56 weeks of inspirational breakup songs. It’s hard to feel bad when you know a sequel to ‘Bad Blood’ is already in the works. However, we need to be thankful, because without T-Swift going through all of these hardships, the Black Eyed Peas would still be allowed to make music.
So wipe those teardrops off your guitar and shake it off, it’s time for this week’s headlines:
- On Tuesday, Lamar Odom was rushed to a hospital after he was found unresponsive at a Nevada brothel. Other side effects of keeping up with the Kardashians include: spontaneous sex changes and being friends with O.J. Simpson.
- A New England man is selling “fall foliage” online for those who want to experience autumn. He came up with the name after “dead leaves in a box” weren’t selling.
- An armed robbery suspect tried to use an Uber as a getaway car. He would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for his driver telling him his full life story.
- A face-down dummy Halloween prank led to many 911 calls in Detroit. Although authorities arrived to find out no one was injured, they were still able to put out 2 house fires and stop a car jacking on the same street.
- Twitter is allegedly laying off 336 workers this week. Employees are now seeing what happens when you don’t retweet the CEO.
- Taylor Swift dumped her boyfriend, Calvin Harris, after he spent 2 hours at a Thai massage parlor known for sexual practices. Maybe Taylor needs to be more specific when she talks about wanting a happy ending on her next album.
- Rapper, T.I., said that he wouldn’t be voting for Hilary Clinton because she’s a woman. You think he’d have a newfound appreciation for females after his 6th child with a 3rd woman.
- Wiz Khalifa was arrested this week for public urination. His manager told him to take his job more seriously, but he was so high that he thought he said to take his name more literally.
- The first democratic debate took place in Nevada on Tuesday. The event featured Hilary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and 3 guys pulled from a poker tournament that were promised a free dinner at Red Lobster for participating.
- And finally this week, pictures surfaced of Justin Bieber naked on a balcony. Although the Canadian is unable to vote, it’s now clear that he hangs to the right.