It’s official: Chipotle and Qdoba are making people sick in certain states. Paying extra for guacamole now seems minor compared to paying extra for your hospital stay. Nothing like some E. Coli and Typhoid Fever to wash down your local, antibiotic-free, farm-raised chicken. Find out what other restaurants are effected and more in this week’s headlines:
- This week, a company launched a Bernie Sander’s inspired line of underwear. This will be the first time that a presidential candidate has been featured on a pair of Depends.
- A 17-year-old in Boston has 2 college degrees, flies planes, is an author, and works at NASA. By 2025, he plans to have successfully figured out how to unhook a bra.
- Ohio voters rejected the proposal to legalize marijuana in the state this week. Looks like they’ll have to resort to their second and third favorite hobbies: praying Lebron doesn’t get hurt and praying Johnny Manziel stays out of jail.
- A 97-year-old woman received her high school diploma after dropping out eight decades ago. When asked what she plans to do next, she answered, “Take a year off before starting community college”.
- 37 cases of E. Coli were traced back to Chipotle and 3 cases of Typhoid were linked to Qdoba Mexican Grill this week. Coincidentally, these are the same ingredients that are already featured in Taco Bell’s Doritos Locos Tacos.
- This week, presidential candidate, Ben Carson, said, “We’d be Cuba if it weren’t for Fox News”. His statement helped American’s realize that Ben Carson has definitely never been to Cuba.
- A Houston man was stabbed to death during a fight over the last piece of chicken. Coming this December: an even more uncomfortable KFC commercial.
- Finally this week, a Washington D.C. police officer defused a fight between teens by challenging one of them to a dance-off. After losing, the officer pulled his gun and threw the teen to the ground.