Seattle’s Gum Wall Moved To New Location

Finally, after 20 years being covered in gum, the famous Gum Wall in Seattle is getting a makeover. The decision came after they discovered erosion caused by the sugar in the gum. Or to put it in simpler terms: someone in Seattle hates fun. Which makes sense, because they live in Seattle.

See where the gum was transported to after its removal and more in this week headlines:

  • This week, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and his girlfriend announced that they’re expecting their first child. Doctors are anticipating this to be the largest stone anyone has ever passed.
  • Jeb Bush said that if he could go back in time, he would kill baby Hitler. Which is weird, because the other 99 surveys said, “Ride a dinosaur”.
  • A legally blind barber was awarded $100k for wrongful termination this week. He was also awarded the knowledge that he’s not actually a dentist as he had previously thought.


  • Crews in Seattle unstuck 1 million pieces of gum from the historic Gum Wall. They were then returned to their natural habitat underneath the tables at Denny’s.
  • A New Hampshire water park owner facing foreclosure chained himself to the top of a water slide in hopes of a financial miracle. The other miracle he’s hoping for: a day warm enough for a water park in New Hampshire.
  • Starbucks received backlash after removing the words, “Merry Christmas”, from the outside of their red cups. However, there’s still been no backlash for charging $5 for the liquid garbage inside of their cups.
  • Finally this week: A Phoenix police officer is seeking $123,000 from Arizona State University after their mascot injured his back when he jumped on him. ASU is now reaching out to the local Burger King to ask their alumni for financial help.

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